Breakfast
by The Amazing Fetus
Summary: William hates it when other people mess with his food, but Grell does the nasty with it anyways.


William was a hard working man, and like any smart reaper he knew that the key to a good job well done was the perfect healthy diet. He only ate locally grown produce and meat from a farm that was owned by one of my co-workers. He was extraordinarily picky about all of his meals but none more than breakfast. He enjoyed bagels most of all, and most often toasted them for precisely two minutes before waiting thirty seconds to spread an even layer of cream cheese and then he would enjoy it with a cup of his favorite coffee. The only other who knew what coffee he liked was Grell. He was ashamed to admit his love for 'girly' drink but William preferred hazelnut coffee and often he would say 'Oh, I'm ordering for my girlfriend' even though everyone at the office knew Grell was never allowed to consume caffeine and only drank herbal teas or sparkling water.

Grell always slept in and after a month of trying to get her to work on time, William had just let her sleep in. This morning was different- Grell had been up all night doing something William never cared to know and he never asked questions anyways. She walked into the kitchen and she was feeling more hungry than usual. Normally she wouldn't think of touching William's food since that always made him unbelievably angry but it was so tempting.

"Oohhh." Grell saw the perfectly spread out bagel and cream cheese. William was in the bathroom and there it was. Warmed up and ready for the harvesting. But in the pit of her stomach- Grell felt like she could've done more primal things to the scrumptious baked good. She felt it in her hands- warm and still supple and squishy… ripe for the taking.

"MM….this is so good." Grell moaned, she was trying to keep quiet but she couldn't hold it in! She was always incredibly loud to the points where William actually got a headache from her screaming in his ear.

"OH FUCK YES." she squealed out.

William had just finished combing his hair back and he was walking into his kitchen but noticed that his bagel, his perfectly cooked and prepared bagel- it was gone! Grell was sitting in the chair making noises. He couldn't believe that she was actually eating his breakfast. She didn't even _like_ bagels! Wait- was that moaning, but how could Grell moan if she was eating his breakfast. None of this made sense, William needed his daily caffeinated wake-up call before he could think straight. No, she wasn't eating his breafast she… she was….fucking it.

"GRELL!" William smacked her in the back of the head. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY BREAKFAST?" he screamed at her- his temper reached his boiling point. Sure her unusual sexual appetite confused and disgusted him at times, like the time she shouted the name of that filthy demon during, but _desecrating his food? Just what synapse in her brain snapped to allow for this wild act of indecency and ravenous lust on an innocent pastry. _

_Grell jumped when he hit her, but this time she didn't come like she normally does when he hits her in the back of the head for doing bizarre things. Instead she went entirely flaccid and tried to cover up her evil deed by lifting the bagel off of her cock and placing it back on the plate. _

"_Good morning honey." "You were having sex with my bagel." William looked at the bagel…. It was utterly ruined along with his appetite. He had no words to say, he had no more screaming left to do. He was just thoroughly and utterly grossed out and he didn't want to think about this anymore. He took his coffee mug, brief case and scythe and left his apartment without another word. He would just have to stop by a café this morning and wait in line to get a slightly-less-than-delicious breakfast this morning. It was still somehow more delicious than any bagel that had been debauched by his girlfriend's penis. _

_Later that day William could hear the riotous laugher of Undertaker, Ronald Knox and those two new recruits- Eric and who-was-it? outside of his office door. No, his girlfriend was never ashamed of all the time he had caught her humiliating herself in new and disturbing ways. She was always, always proud. _

_William just hoped that his lunch wouldn't be next. _


End file.
